What do you do when a relationship turns sour? You wish you could just turn back the clock and bring things back to the way they used to be. When you think of the time you first started dating, you can't help but smile. Those times are gone. Is it a lost hope to dream of getting them back?
Not if you know where to start. Relationships can't be all sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time - they simply don't work that way. Maintaining a relationship can mean a lot of hard work and although you were willing to put in the effort, it seems that your ex wasn't. They broke up with you instead. Instead of just wishing for another chance, make it happen. Be proactive and go for a plan that is so simple it's almost guaranteed to work - as long as you play your cards right and lead with your head, not your heart.
Make them Miss More than a Memory
While you can't plant pictures in your ex's mind that you want them to hold onto in your post-breakup reality, you can give them the seeds necessary to plant them on their own. Unfortunately, you can't reach into their mind and make them feel the same things you're feeling. You desperately want to reclaim your relationship, but at this moment your ex does not share the same sentiments.
Instead, they seem to be pulling away. You want to fight the process and cling to them for dear life, but that's not going to get you any closer to reconnecting. Instead, give them the impression that you're acquiescing to what they think they want. They don't really want you to disappear, although they might disagree right now. When you keep your distance, they'll realize that they don't just miss the way things were - they miss the person attached to those memories as well. Once this goal is accomplished, you need an extra push to get your plan off the ground and into motion.
Don't Just Focus on THE Past, Focus on Your Past as Well
While it may be easy to pick apart everything that your ex did wrong throughout the course of your relationship, it's harder to turn that critical eye inward. Humans are programed to find fault in others, and it's a natural thing to pick apart all of your ex's idiosyncrasies and bad habits. It's unlikely that you weathered the storm of the relationship (and its eventual end) without sustaining some damage along the way.
Since you're giving your ex some time away, you have some free time available to start focusing on what's truly important - you. Don't mold yourself into what you imagine an ex wants - you'll fall short of your own expectations. Faking it will only get you so far - and it's not nearly enough to bridge the gap between the relationship you want and the one that ended. Even the little things can make a big difference here. Remember the way your ex lit up every time you entered a room and focus on becoming that person again. Introduce yourself to the new and improved you by reconnecting with bits and pieces of the past that worked out in your favor.
Make the Best of Times a New Reality
If you want nothing more than to reinstate the initial stages of your former relationship, you're in luck. Not only is it possible, it's not as far off as you fear. You want the way your ex remembers you to focus on the good - and minimalize the bad in the process. Obviously some things need to change - but you can bring those changes about in a positive way by using the past for inspiration. Take it even further. Don't revert into a former self - make that person even better and make it something your ex will remember fondly.
There is too much at stake to simply cross your fingers and hope for the best. Having a plan is only the foundation. Any successful plan needs to be put into action and that means taking a positive role in its natural progression and pulling the strings to tilt the game in your favor. Go into this time with an underlying confidence and regain control of your fate. By taking it one step at a time and rebuilding your positive traits from the ground up, you have every opportunity to win your ex back - and making your renewed relationship healthier than ever.
What To Do Next
Being dumped is never a trivial thing, the pain is always real. People who say "just get over it" have either never been dumped or they are in denial. Knowledge is power, the more knowledge you gain about how to rectify your situation the better your chances of putting your relationship back on track will be.
Two key things that you should know about are break up mistakes and managing contact with your ex. If you are serious about getting your ex back into your life then you will have to gain the knowledge necessary to achieve your goal. With the right techniques you will save yourself a lot of heartache and frustration.
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/making-your-ex-miss-you-how-it-is-done
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